To my dearly beloved bacon lovers,
This has got to stop. I understand your view that bacon is “delicious” and “the best tasting thing ever”. However, this bacon flavored everything is truly getting out of hand! I can’t walk into a store now without seeing something bacon themed. Do you realize how this makes the states seem? Fat. I, myself, have been known to enjoy (burnt) bacon, but not enough to dab eau de pig on before dinner parties. In closing, I ask that you stop wasting your monies on things like bacon tooth paste, which I know is actually too disgusting to use.
p.s. I’ve listed twelve bacon gifts I find truly over the top. Just the thought of some of these makes my cholesterol rise.